Surrey Hills MTB


Morzine 2016

Mucking about with Quik

While I’m waiting for the rest of the house to get up so I/we can cook breakfast for Mrs M this morning I thought I’d muck about with GoPro’s Quik – their video editing software.

Anyway – it’s brief, clunky and not a masterpiece by any standards but here goes.

Just over 100 days chaps


Morzine 2016: Yeeessssss!

I just a little bit excited! Ok, I’m disgracefully unstoppably explodingly excited to be specific. In fact I’m more excited than “Excited Jack McExcited, winner of this year’s Mr Excited competition” (all due plaudits to Richard Curtis and Ben Elton)

So it’s been a long, long, long tedious wait for today ever since I first thought about the possibility of this year’s trip (as I ran down the Les Gets bikepark trail for the last time).

Since then it’s all come together nicely, so a big thanks to all who have assisted, ventured an opinion, put up with “incessant emails” and generally tolerated my “constant wittering” about it…

I confess I’ve been slowly counting down the days, and not metaphorically speaking, every single flipping day until we’ve reached this most halcyon of days…. departure day!!!!

This evening 15 of us TFITers/MRMTBers/Notable Others will be wending our way to Gatwick, Heathrow and Bristol to board flights to Geneva. We lovingly packed the MVOJ last night and uttered soothing words to our steeds as they were whisked away.

So speaking of the MVOJ, Andy T and Peter H are already “en-France dans le MVOJ” and are hopefully having a good journey. I’ll post some updates here if I get any during the day.

So all I have to do now is count the minutes until 4:00pm. For those of you heading out from Witley later – you need to be at Matt W’s to catch a van at 4:15pm. That’s now Bob, Mark, Matt, Steve, Tim, Malcolm, Leigh, Buz and Tig. Oh, if you’re looking for Mr B and Buz, they’ve been in a pub in Witley since 2:30pm…

Me, Craig D, Andy C and James G are heading to Gatwick straight from work. Andy P will be departing from Bristol later.

The flight out of Gatwick (North Terminal) is EZY8482, departing at 20.15. So, if you are reading this at work, can I just say “Passport? Wallet? Hand luggage?”. And I’ll see most of you in Gatwick later for a pre-flight pint.


…She is a thing of beauty.

So a productive hour or so was spent yesterday afternoon fitting out the MVOJ to receive 18 ( dear God, yes it’s 18) bikes, bags and associated gubbins.

Matt W showed off his construction “skills of perfection” by using a set square in a “It has to be right” kind of way. Well it’s amazing what you can achieve with some pallets and screws is all I can say! However, we do indeed now have a two-tier “love tunnel” in the back of the MVOJ.

Back of fag packet measuring indicates that with front and rear wheels off (and maybe pedals, we will see) we can get 12 bikes on the bottom with the rest going on the top. This leaves plenty of other room for bags to fill in the gaps.

James G however is going the full monty, having apparently converted his YT Capra into a “Minecraft MTB”. Now that’s a thing of beauty Mr G.


Just a reminder to all. Packing the MVOJ starts from 17:00 onwards this Wednesday at Matt’s house. Oh, and I have to say I am extremely impressed with the news that Leigh B and Buz are being dropped in Witley at 2:30pm on Thursday afternoon.

What to do with and hour and a half before the man n’ van leaves Witley? Oh.. yeah… pub…

Oh yeah – weather update – nom, nom, nom:



One teeny tiny week to go

Huzzah. Hurrah. And lots of other words that end in ah.

One week to go, yep just 7 tiny insignificant days to wait until we get some well earned French Alps wheel time in Morzine. That would also be 5 working days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes or 604,800 seconds – calculators on the internet – gotta love them…


Some logistical things:

We are packing the van on Wednesday 6th July at Matt W’s place any time from 5:00pm onward. Turn up when you want, personally I doubt I’ll get there until after 6:15 / 6.30pm, but the van will be ready when you are.

Bring your bike, your ‘hold luggage’ bag and anything else you want to go in the van (and possibly a beer or two?).

In terms of getting the bikes into the MVOJ, I’m expecting that we will have to turn handlebars into your frame and possibly take wheels and pedals off, so come prepared for that. As with all van packing “shenanigans” it will be an evolutionary process.

Also this coming Sunday (3rd July) we will be getting creative with “pallets” at Matt’s place at about 4:00pm ish and are intending to construct some kind of “frame” in the van for putting things onto. Feel free to turn up and offer encouragement, point, laugh or other things if you want to.

Note: Bike padding will not be provided (I’m not your mum) so if you want your pride and joy protected from knocks and bumps and things – bring your own “padding”, “bubble wrap” or the “downy embrace of a mudbunny” yourself.

You also have 7 days or specifically one weekend to get your bike and kit in order, so if you’re missing anything (like I am) all I can say is “what the hell are you reading this for? Crack on.”

Personally I am spending Saturday doing last money transfers, fitting new tyres and bedding in a couple of sets of pads to take with me and packing my bag. I’ll also be sorting out my extra insurance through in case that is something you have not thought about yet.

The Accuweather forecast for Morzine is looking encouraging (20 degrees + and “mostly dry”) but apparently at the higher altitudes there is an outside chance of some persistent snow lying around so adjust your kit accordingly.

Any questions – feel free to drop me a line and watch out for the last Official Morzine 2016 email coming soon.

Oh yeah – last pre-Morzine TFIT tonight. Anyone up for a gentle “no-injuries permitted” ride?

10 point pre-Alps checklist

As the departure date comes closer, here’s a quick checklist for you all. Don’t leave home without these things ticked:

  1. Pre alps training. Burpees: burp By now you should be able to do 100 of these before breakfast. Here is a simple test: Get your bike, remove saddle and replace with nettles. Now stand on your bike while clipped in, preferably naked. You should be able to maintain this pose for a minimum of 8 hours. Ask kids to bring food periodically.  No selfies.
  2. Your bike
    1. Tires. Go large or go home. Aim for at least a 4.0. Use a small metal file to make space on the frame if necessary.  Zip-tie extra spokes to hub for added support.
    2. Brakes. brakeAs above. Consider adding another set of calipers. This will require some welding. Strap extra brake levers together with aforementioned zip-ties. Remember kids – vented and drilled.
  3. Riding position. When in the Alps its easy to want to look at the scenery. Like sheer cliff edges. Or cows, or bees. What you should do: Don’t look. Simples.
  4. Lube up. The harsh summer sun at high altitude is a killer. Protect yourself, and others by liberally smearing yourself with Deep Heat. Go for the commercial size tin. Avoid sensitive areas.
  5. Gorilla tape. Be one with the bike. Clip in and get a friend to help strap feet to pedals. Carry a sharp pair of scissors in pocket in case of quick exit requirements. Don’t run with scissors.
  6. Air compressor. 4.0 or bigger tires should be running approximately 1540psi atair 10,000 milliamps.  Industrial air compressors are readily available from Asia. Consider employing the services of a Sherpa (experienced riders go for two). Don’t forget to tip well.
  7. Clothing. Don’t be fooled by expensive body armour! Doctors hate this one simple trick! Get a used wetsuit – should not smell of urine – Get in, and finish with a light breathable sumo suit. Available at all reputable novelty shops.
  8. First aid kit. It’s not a wound, it’s an experience oyster. Clip back in, Lucy.
  9. Cash. Budget well. Remember, according to the British Cycling association, Mountain biking costs approximately £5 per mile. You cant afford this lifestyle anyway.
  10. Always carry your mobile. Try and set as many KOM’s as you can on the uplifts. If you own a blackberry, carry spare change for the telegrams. Stop.

Morzine Morzine Morzine

Can’t help it. It’s just over a week to go. First thing I do when I get in is check the weather forecast (as of writing today – just looks awesome!!), then I spend 10 minutes agonizing about tyres and then I check the interweb for videos.

And I’m not dissapointed – two-wheeled Morzine related shenanigans from this year have started appearing online. Firstly and most OMG-ly is Josh Bryceland and Josh Lewis riding like we all wish we could but never ever will.

So now you’ve enjoyed that, check out some of the other kind souls who’ve posted their fun online. 9 Days and counting.

Morzine lifts are open…

It’s a happy day today, the summer season is here and the MTB lifts in Morzine are officially open as of today.

The official part of that comes from Morznet but it’s good to see the main Pléney lift out of the village are opening from 9:00 am to 17:00 pm.

On a more logistical note, the 2016 Etape du Tour is finishing in Morzine on Sunday 10th July. It’s gonna be a massively busy day in the village with an estimated 15,000 riders riding the 146 km from Megève to Morzine, a fully-fledged replica of Stage 20 of the Tour de France which heads into Morzine later in July this year. Whichever way you look at it, 15,000 roadies is going to be a sight to behold, all heading towards the Palais du Sport (or as I like to call it the “Palais du Steve-skid”) with their freshly shaved legs glistening in the sun. The finish time stretches between 12:00 pm and 7:30 pm so we need to factor that in. If you want to see what these riders are going to put themselves through, checkout the official website here.

However, road riding aside, we’ve only got 26 days to worry about last minute bike fixes, tyre choices and body armour. It’s getting close chaps.

Morzine MTB 2016 – 1 calendar month and counting

Milestone day… Milestone day…. Wooop Wooop!!

Yep, it’s just one calendar month to go or in slightly more exciting money just 23 working days (or more relevant only 4 TFITs) until wheels down in Morzine. The bad news is we are currently down to 16 (Simon H has sadly had to drop out) so we’re feverishly trying to find a co-pilot for Andy T and the MVOJ.

On the kit front I’ve finally decided to send my forks off to Mojo for a bit of an overdue refresh and will be pairing them with a new headset (possibly Hope) which I’ll review in due course.

So, quick check for all

  1. Have you got your passport? (we’re not waiting)
  2. Have you booked some insurance? (I recommend SnowCard)
  3. Have you finally finished fettling your bike? (I have not..)
  4. Have you checked-in? (for those flying)
  5. Do you have anything else left to buy?
  6. Have you paid up all outstanding monies into the BAOJ? (the answer is no for a few of you…. please settle as soon as you can or look for a shouty” email from me if you haven’t)
  7. Have you been riding enough ….? (erm… no)
  8. Bob – have you removed all spurious items from your backpack?
  9. Have you acquired a loud and obnoxious Hawaain shirt? (oh yes…)
  10. Have you agonized and I mean REALLY agonized over your tyre choice… again… cos I do every year… pointlessly…
  11. Even Malcolm has actually gone and bought a bike (Whyte T129 RS) – again, hopefully review to follow

Lordy me, we must be nearly ready then. Also, in case you have nothing else occupying your mind – tomorrow is check-in day!

Yep, if you haven’t received your email from Easyjet yet – you should be able to check in tomorrow and download your boarding passes. Also, if you haven’t yet – you’ll need to enter your passport details. Or they won’t let you on. Probably.

So I’m quite bored of waiting now. Want to go. Videos of 2016 MTB riding have even started showing up…. *sigh*

Now there’s an idea

So, am doing lengthy database stuff today. The databases are large. Very large. Moving, cleaning or even just thinking about them takes forever. It’s boring. Very boring.

And then I remembered the interweb and all my problems are solved! I had a quick browse of WP Reader and came across this fantastic post on Legget Immoblier Morzine & Les Gets for a 3* Hotel for sale in Morzine.

It houses up to 69 guests, has 25 bedrooms, a pool (!), a restaurant and all of those “hotel-esque” type things. Its just beautiful and I have to be honest, I’d quite fancy staying there.

And all for only €3,600,000 (…fumbles through wallet.. *sigh*… closes wallet)

However, if you’re in the market for some super sexy Mozine / Les Gets property, I recommend you visit Legget Immoblier, if only to drool (like I just have). I may even go take a look at it when we get to Morzine in 44 days time.

But imagine… free riding every summer… free skiiing every winter…

Do I hear “crowd funding” anyone?

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